Your story blew me AWAY!!! Pretty much EVERY SINGLE horse story I can see the end as soon as I read the beginning! I totally LOVED your story! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE NEXT PART! :p
Dec 03, 2014 Rating
Liberty - Chapter 4: In the Long Run by: Emma
The girl, the stallion found out, was named Robin. She was kind and loving, and very light. The stallion didn't mind her at all.
They were still running, but the girl never pushed him to. She let the stallion run, walk, gallop, canter, trot, when ever he wanted. After all, he was a wild mustang of the mountains.
Finally, the stallion slowed to a walk, and the girl leaned back, sliding her arms of the stallion's hot neck, and began running her fingers through his mane. Robin loved the horse already. She didn't want to name the stallion just yet. Not until I get to the field, Robin thought to herself.
She yawned and moved around a bit on the horse's back so her legs were on the stallion's shoulders, and she had her head on his withers. Robin wrapped herself in her jacket and pulled on her hood. She had the lead rope under her back so it couldn't fall off.
Quickly, Robin fell asleep as the last roll of thunder quietly rumbled in the clouds.
Robin quickly woke to the stallion galloping through a bean field. She shot up, almost falling off the grey stallion's back.
She looked back, and saw a red truck going after them. Robin gasped, and threw the lead rope around his neck, reaching down to grab the other end that had the hook.
She knotted the two ends together so the rope was tied in a complete circle around the stallion's neck. The girl grabbed the lead rope with both hands and let out a loud shout.
"Come on boy! Run, run to your liberty!" She screamed. The stallion neighed and took off as fast as the gallop could go. Then it hit her. Liberty. That was what she would name the stallion. Robin leaned forward and whispered to the galloping horse, "Run Liberty."
They took off together into the woods. The men surely couldn't haul that red truck here, and it would take to long the drive around. Robin and Liberty race through the woods just in time as the men got out of their car. A dirt road was in site.
The pair followed it for a while until they approach a small house, a little barn, and a giant field. The girl slide off and ran toward the barn with the horse. She opened the barn door, and led the stallion in. A brown horse, a small mare was in the middle stall on the left wall.
Out of all the stalls, the middle on the left. A giant heap of hay was in the corner, two racks with a red pad and an old western saddle, a black leather bridle with a pair of nylon reins, and a blanket. They were all old and found in the loft upstairs.
Robin closed the barn door and pulled off the lead rope that was around his neck. She got out a yellow bucket and filled it with lukewarm water. She set the bucket in front of the stallion and he drank it up quickly.
Robin then showed Liberty a stall but he protested and stamped his hooves. Robin sighed and walked over to the chestnut horse.
On the door was a paper name plate decorated with marker. It said: Fern. Then Robin opened another door that led to the field. Liberty ran out quickly, and Robin unlatched Fern's stall and watched her run out together. Just then, footsteps were hear from behind.
"Another one?" said a voice. Certainly a man.
Robin turned. "Oh. Yes, another one. Straight from the slaughter house."
"You snuck into the slaughter house?!?" said the man. It was Robin's father.
"Yeah..." The girl looked down at her muddy boots.
"No, it's okay. I understand. But don't do it again!"
"I won't!!!" said Robin.
There was pause as the two watched the horses play nicely with each other.
"What'd ya name him?" Robin's father asked.
"Liberty." Robin said with a smile.
The horses raced in circles, brown and grey dashes mixing together. The stallion then reared, and nickered happily. He wasn't wild, but in the long run, he had his liberty.
The end.
P.S. Sorry the story was so short. I could have added more, but the story would have gotten out of hand. I hope you enjoyed!
Nov 27, 2014 Rating
Liberty - Chapter 3: His Savior by: Emma
The stallion stood still, muscles flinching. His whites where very visible since the cloth was off his brown eyes. His soft velvety black nostrils flared, taking in air.
I want free, he thought. I want my liberty.
Soft footsteps came from the dark wet cement hallway. The stallion flicked his ears, and tried to pull his head in that direction. A dark hooded figure wondered quietly through the row of stalls. The figure stopped at his stall. He snorted. A hand slowly reached out and touch his forehead. The stallion strained to pull back. The hand touched him again, and stroked his long black face over and over till it calmed him.
"It's all right. I'm not going to hurt you, no. I'm going to save you." said a voice coming from the figure that was stroking the stallion.
The human slowly unlatched the stall lock, and began working at the ropes holding the horse's head in place. It carefully removed the leather halter, and lightly ran a finger over the cuts quickly made from the halter. The stallion neighed and shook his head.
"Easy." the figure said calmly. The stallion calmed and nickered quietly.
It cut the ropes off of the stallion's legs and back, and rubbed a dark cloth over his body. A towel. The stallion side-stepped nervously, and the human slowly finished drying the grey stallion. It approached the stallion's face and held of it's hand to his nose. The stallion sensed no harm, but was still nervous. The human backed out of the stall so the stallion could follow, and stopped when it could see his body. Scratches on the knees, a slight cut on the hind right leg and nothing other than the marks made by the halter. He was still functional. The human put down it's hood finally. It was a girl about the age of twelve, maybe older, with short brown hair, green eyes, and a face dotted with freckles. She held a rope up to the stallion's nose, and let him smell it. Then she softly put it around his neck. She walked forward, the stallion hesitated at first. but then nervously walked forward with the girl. She led him outside looking around for the men. The stallion neighed loudly, and the girl gasped. Two men came from the back end of the shed with a whip and a heaver, thicker rope. The girl felt the horse's itch to run, so she jumped up onto the wild horse and wrapped her arms around his neck. The stallion, bucked a few times, then reared with a fierce neigh. Then he bolted toward the men.
The stallion then kicked one of the men down, but then tried to trample the second man whip the rope and whip. The stallion stopped fighting, and bolted into the dark of the night with the mysterious girl. His savior.
Nov 08, 2014 Rating
Vivid by: Sydney from HorseCrazyGirls.com
I really like the vivid style of your writing. It makes me feel like I am there. Keep writing!
Nov 04, 2014 Rating
Liberty - Chapter 2: Pain by: Emma
The stallion was enclosed, trapped in an old rusty trailer. He thrashed and kicked the sides, denting the metal. He neighed and screamed. A black cloth covered his brown eyes, so he couldn't see anything.
He was soaking and cold, and the trailer ride made him feel dizzy. He threw his slate-colored head around. His muscled quivered. His hooves stamped. He bubbled with rage and fear, ready to escape. He wanted to get back to his herd, and pry the leather halter that was too tight off his face.
The trailer stopped suddenly, and threw the stallion forward. He screamed out a painful neigh as he fell, and got back up. The lead rope snapped off the hook that held him in place. The halter dug into his soft face. It hurt him. He was in pain. He was afraid.
The men got out of the car. The stallion heaved. The men opened the trailer door. Worse mistake of their lives.
The grulla stallion bolted, pure mustang power. But he didn't get far. Instead, he turned and ran to the fearful men, and reared and tried to kick them. But more men came out of this shack-looking thing, with another lead rope.they hooked it onto him, and dragged him into the building.
They tied him up with ropes in this stall like thing. It was very quiet. The stallion quieted and tried to hang his tied up head to sleep.
It was about three hours later when he woke up. He was fighting the tight ropes, and struggling to escape. He neighed and neighed. The cloth that covered his eyes was removed, and his whites shone.
He could see other horses, cows, and long horns. They looked beaten, and malnourished. The stallion neighed again. Nothing. He was tied up in a slaughterhouse.
Nov 03, 2014 Rating
Nice work! by: Unicorn
Wow, you sure have a talent when it comes to sentence structure. There are some spots in your sentences that sound a little clunky, but then there are total jewels like "They bolted each way, mares losing foals, foals losing mares, the stallion losing all" and "They were definitely men. And they were up to no good". Absolutely adored those. I also like how you started your story right in the middle of the action.
I'd like to see you write a little more into the point of view of your stallion. I feel like a bystander watching the story unfold; I'd rather feel like I *am* the stallion and experiencing the story through him. Giving us a more detailed description of how he feels will help with that.
Happy writing!
Oct 27, 2014 Rating
love to hear more! by: Sydney from HorseCrazyGirls.com
I'd like to read more. I look forward to Chapter 2! (Be sure to add it as a comment to this so we can follow along.)
