I love your story so far, I am sure it will turn out great. Please don't give up on the book!
I am not good with ideas but maybe in one f your next chapters, you can write where Mira and Andy enter a race, and the night before the race Andy goes missing. And Tyler looks for Andy all night or something.
Dec 25, 2015 Rating
Part 6 by: I.M
Ok, I tried submitting this before, but it never got posted, and due to my stories all being towards the bottom, I never continued because I don't think anyone really reads my stories lol. Anyways, I'm bored and will try again to make part six :)(and please comment if you read, and give me tips on how I can improve! Thanks!!!!)
As Kayla and Tyler were finishing up their conversation, they heard quick hoof beats getting closer. When they looked, Andy was coming down the "homestretch" with lightning speed! Tyler gazed at Andy, watching and catching almost every movement, not daring to look away. Once Kayla went over the line, she started to slow Andy down. He decided he didn't want to stop running, and pulled at the bit, when Mira pulled him to the right, forcing him to slow down. She got him down to a trot and posted down over to Kayla and Tyler. "Dude! Did you see Andy! He was flying today! Too bad that wasn't a real race, he would have won." Mira said, obviously proud with how things were going with Andy. "Yeah! If he stays consistent for a month, we should ask Mrs. Keys if we can borrow the training track and then see if we can get him into a real race!" Kayla replied, not hiding her enthusiasm. Mira jumped off of Andy and pulled her skull cap off. We both went over to Andy and began to untack him. "Hey, Tyler?" Kayla asked. He looked up from his drawing pad and just nodded his head upwards. "We have to take Andy down to the hitching post and then groom him. Do you want a leg up and have Mira and I lead him?" Tyler looked at the sweaty horse and then looked up at Kayla. She was smiling her biggest smile, and was holding onto Andy's bridle, standing right in front of him. Tyler finally smiled and said, "Yeah, sure! Let me put my stuff down really quick first!" Kayla and Mira gave Tyler a leg up once he had put his drawing pad down, when Mira said, "Hey guys, go without me. I'm getting a call. I'll meet you two down there." Kayla turned around and faced towards the barn and started walking, Tyler hanging onto Andy for dear life. "Sure! We'll see you down there!" Kayla said.
By the time Kayla and Tyler got down to the barn, not a word had been said. Kayla led Andy down to the hitching post and attached his halter to his neck, then took his bridle off and properly hitched him. "Umm..." Tyler said, still sitting on Andy. "Yes?" Kayla asked, clearly confused. "Two things, first is how do I get off of Andy?" He said, starting to blush again. Kayla slapped herself. "Of course! I forgot you've never ridden before!" She told him how to get off step by step, and then he finally made it safely on the ground. "Ok, now that that's over with, what was your second question?" Kayla asked, now currying Andy's coat. "Umm... So like, I was just wondering if... Actually... Nevermind." Tyler said, blushing wildly. Kayla just shrugged her shoulders and replied, "Come on! Now you have to ask me! You can't leave me hanging!" Tyler looked down, and took a really, really deep breath. "Do you want to come over to my house tomorrow for like... Dinner or something? Like, it's no big deal, but you know, my mom told me to ask to be nice since you invited me to come riding and all." Kayla blushed and then smiled. "Sure!" She said, letting out more excitement than she wanted too. Tyler smiled. "Really?" Kayla looked away from Andy and replied with a big smile. "Really."
Jul 29, 2015 Rating
Part Five by: Anonymous
Okay, lets try this again...
When Kayla got home, she ran through her homework, it was very easy and quick, thankfully. She couldn't wait to watch the new foals play! She was about to walk out the door, when the phone rang. She and Eric ran as fast as they could to the phone, but Eric got there first! "Hello?...Yes...Ok, here." He smiled at Kayla. "Your boyfriend's calling!" He teased. Kayla rolled her eyes and grabbed the phone. "Yellow! This is Kayla!" She heard the caller take a deep breath, and then, "Umm, hey. This is Tyler. Is it okay if I come over? Mira told me you have horses, and I would like to draw them." Kayla was blushing, just hearing his voice, and Eric, who stuck around, was silently laughing at her. "Sure! My homework is finished, so I have some time to show you around and stuff. Just come when you're ready! My house is the big yellow one on the hill on Silvertron Road." There was a sound of a pen scribbling on paper on the other line. "Okay, I'll be there soon!" He hung up, then Kayla put the phone down and ran outside. There was a sound of galloping hooves coming closer and closer, and when they were very close, she saw Andy with Mira on his back, who was crouched over in the perfect jockey position. Kayla raced down to the paddock, only to be beaten by a second! "YES!" Mira shouted, pumping her fist in the air. "ANDY AND MIRA WIN THE BELMONT, AND MIRA IS THE FIRST FEMALE JOCKEY TO WIN THE TRIPLE CROWN!" Kayla laughed, barely able to breathe. Mira jumped off of Andy, and made a quick job of untacking him. "Hey, Kayla!" Mira said, while curiously looking down the hill. "Hey! What are you looking at?" Kayla held her hand out to her forehead to block the sun, and saw a boy get out of a big black car. "Oh! That's Tyler!" Mira said. Kayla questioningly looked at Mira. She shrugged and replied, "What? I saw his mom pick him up after school. They have a V10 Excursion. He also has two brothers and four sisters. He told me that, by the way." Kayla laughed, and helped Mira groom Andy. They talked about racing for a little bit, then helped Tyler bring his art stuff up the hill. "So." Tyler panted. "How many horses do you have and what breed?" In between breaths, Kayla replied, "Three. They are all thoroughbreds, and Andy, the stallion here, belongs to Mira and is the father of the foals." Tyler just nodded, and then dropped his stuff down by Andy's tack. "So, are they both OTTBs?" Tyler seemed to know a little about horses, which of course, made him even cuter. "Yeah. They were owned by one of our teachers, Mrs. Key. We worked a ton, and then she gave them to us, along with a set each of racing tack." Kayla explained, while grooming Andy. "Do you ride?" Mira asked. "No. I want to, it looks really fun. I used to live in the city, and the closest horses were at racetracks, so I never got to ride. I do know a little bit about horses though, because of when I studied them to draw them better." Kayla slipped Andy's bridle back on, and replied, "That makes sense. Do you want to ride today?" He was making a sketch on his paper, and though about it for a second. "Yeah, sure. You'll have to teach me though." Kayla unhitched Andy off of the post, and threw the reins over his back. "Sure." "Okay Mira! He's ready!" She shouted. Mira walked up, threw his little saddle back on, cinched the girth, and took the reins. Kayla gave Mira a quick leg up, and then stepped back. "Okay. You'll start from that line of trees, and circle twenty of them, and then go follow the path, and when you get here, you just finished five furlongs!" Mira gathered like a jockey, and when Kayla whistled, Andy took off!" Tyler looked over, being curious of why Kayla had whistled. He had turned just in time to see Andy take off, and whispered, "Wow!" He watched Andy go, and then went back to his drawing. Kayla walked up by him, and sat in front of him. "So, what are you drawing?" He looked up, and his cheeks turned a little pink. "Umm, it's not very good. It's supposed to be umm, a galloping horse." Kayla smiled, and said, "Aww, it can't be that bad! Let me see!" Tyler held the drawing pad close to his chest, and stuck his tongue out. "Oh, you wanna go there?" Tyler got a grip on the drawing pad, and curled himself into a ball. "Here, how about I tell you that I'll tell you a secret if you'll let me see the drawing?" Tyler laughed a little, and then thought some more. "If you still want to see it in, lets go with I don't know, three months, then you can tell me your secret, and I'll let you see it." Kayla stuck her hand out. "Deal" They both said, shaking hands.
Jul 21, 2015 Rating
Part Four by: Anonymous
When Kayla woke up the next morning, she was excited to get back to school. One of her teachers, Mrs. Key, loved horses and owned a horse farm, full of racehorses. Kayla was excited to tell her about the new foals, because Kayla and Mira had worked at Mrs. Key's farm for two years to earn Missy and Andy. They were both ottbs, but had not performed well on the racetrack. Kayla ran down the stairs, ate breakfast, then took a shower. She still had a half hour until she had to start walking to school, so she did the obvious thing, which was went down to the barn, apple in hand. "Hey Missy!" she yelled. There was a happy, low, nicker. Kayla stuck the apple out for Missy, who took it happily. Kayla's dad had already fed Missy, and she seemed almost too full for the apple. "Yeah, that tastes good, doesn't it?" Kayla said in a low whisper. After Missy had finished the apple, Kayla grabbed Missy's halter and lead rope and slipped it over Missy's head. She opened the stall, and led Missy out to the paddock, along with her chestnut foal. Dapple was sleeping, so she let her be. Once she got the gate open, she took off Missy's halter and walked behind the gate and let Missy in. She trotted in, with her wobbly foal right behind her. Kayla locked the gate and went back into the stall. Dapple woke up and whinnied. Kayla slipped the lead rope over the foal's head, and opened the stall door. She went and helped Dapple up, and saw Dapple's full belly. She had Dapple walk over to the stall door. Missy saw Dapple's head and whinnied. Dapple looked over in Missy's direction and whinnied back. Kayla undid the lead rope, and walked over to the paddock, while Dapple walked, well, wobbled over to the paddock. "Lets put you in with Missy. Hopefully you'll be strong enough to stretch your legs a little." She opened the paddock, and Dapple went right in. Kayla watched the chestnut. "I'll let Mira pick the chestnut's name." Thinking of Mira, she glanced at her watch. "Oh no! School starts in five minutes! Why didn't Eric come get me?" She yelled, furious. She heard the front door slam, and Eric ran out. "We have to go, there's only five minutes to school. I woke up late." He said in a hurry. He handed Kayla her backpack, and the ran all the way to school.
Finally! It was sixth period, which was her 4-h class! She sprinted down to the animal pens. She was assigned a little pig she had named Bacon. "Hi Bacon!" Kayla said, while a little, tiny pig was trying to get through the others to eat. It squealed and ran over to Kayla. Kayla always gave him food when she came, so she called him by name as a call. "Yeah, I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday," she apologized while giving Bacon a doughnut and a slice of a watermelon rind. He ate it all as quickly as possible, and didn't leave a crumb. She was alone with Bacon for the next minute, when the new boy walked in. He was way cuter than Kayla had thought he'd be! She was blushing, so she turned away and went back to petting Bacon. He set his stuff down and walked over to Kayla. "Are you Kayla?" He asked in a very quiet whisper, barely loud enough for Kayla to hear. "Yeah! How did you know?" She replied, trying to control her blushing. "I'm supposed to be sharing Bacon with you until they can get another animal." He said, while staring at the ground. "Okay, that sounds good! Lets get started!" She grabbed Bacon and they went about a normal 4-h day.
Jul 21, 2015 Rating
Part Three by: Anonymous
I'm sorry this has taken a while, but I have been focusing more on my other story, Back Track rat, but here's part three!
Kayla could hardly sleep, and when she woke up in the morning, the little dappled foal was in her arms, like a dog. Her older brother, Eric, walked in. "Oh, looks like you finally woke up!" He said. She rubbed her eyes and looked around. "What happened last night? I don't remember any of it," She asked while yawning. "Well," Eric explained, "You were scared for the dapple foal, and so every few minutes, you would come into the barn and check on it. Mom and dad kept waking up from the door constantly opening and closing, so they gave you a blanket and pillow and told you to sleep in the barn." She looked over at the corner of the stall, and sure enough, there was a blanket with a pillow, and her sopping wet jacket next to that. "Anyways, it's time for breakfast." Eric walked out and back to the house. She looked down at the little, sickly foal. It woke up, and tried standing. She helped it up, and looked between its legs. "Aw, you're a filly! I am going to name you Dapple. It just fits you!" She slowly let her hands weaken so Dapple would not suddenly have to hold herself. She shakily stood, and wobbled over to Missy. The other foal was sleeping. It had nicely molded legs, a perfect head, its tail was a satiny black color, and its neck seemed to be proportioned correctly. Kayla walked out of the stall, and as quietly as she could, shut and locked the stall door. She ran up to the house, and got herself cleaned up for breakfast. When she got down to the breakfast table, her parents were both talking about something in a very low whisper, and Eric was cramming all of his food into his mouth, in a rush. "Kayla," her dad said. While chewing a mouthful of eggs, she replied, "Yeah?" "Your mother and I were talking, and we think that you should stay home from school today, because you were up with Missy until six this morning." Kayla looked at the clock. She had only slept an hour and a half! School started 8:47, so no wonder Eric was in a rush! "Umm, There's no projects or anything due today, so ok." Her dad smiled and replied,"Okay. After you finish breakfast, go and sleep. I'll clean your dishes." Kayla just nodded and gave a thanks. After she wolfed down a piece of toast and some orange juice, she went up to her bedroom and slept. When she woke up, it was already four! She walked downstairs, and ran to the bathroom. After she had fixed her hair and showered, she went out to the barn. The chestnut was doing great, and Dapple seemed to be more steady on her feet. All of a sudden, Kayla was attacked from behind! "AGH!" She screamed. When she turned around, it was Mira! "Hey, Kayla!" Mira enthusiastically exclaimed. "Hey!" Kayla replied. "Why didn't you tell me there were twins?!" Mira practically yelled. "When I tried calling, you didn't pick up, and when I woke up, and ate breakfast, you were already at school." Kayla rolled her eyes playfully and tickled Mira's sides. For the next hour, they talked about the foals, Missy, and Andy. After they were out of things to talk about their little horse family, they went up to Kayla's room and talked school. "There's a new kid in class," Mira said. Kayla loved getting new kids, because that always, well, usually, meant a new friend. "What are they like?" Kayla asked. "Well, it's a boy, he has brown, spiked hair, he has light hazel eyes, umm, he like, he is really quiet and shy, and, he loves to draw." Kayla smiled. "That sounds like a person that I would be friends with!" They did that days homework, because if either one of them missed a day, the other got another copy of the homework so the other didn't have late work to do. After two hours of homework, it was time for dinner, then time for Mira to leave, and then time for bed.
I will have the next chapter tomorrow!
May 02, 2015 Rating
Really Exciting by: Tilly
I think this story so far is really good and exciting, so don't hesitate to write more amazing parts of the story! It's amazing, and I really think you should become an horse writing author when you're older :)
Feb 10, 2015 Rating
Part two: by: I.M
Missy continued to push, and soon, there was a little bit of hoof, then a head, then the foal slid out! It was a little chestnut. Missy relaxed for a few minutes, then pushed again. This time, the foal took much less time. The chestnut was obviously the bigger twin. It was sleek and already had muscle. The other foal was a dapple grey color, and didn't appear to be moving. Then, as if magic, the foal coughed and started breathing! "The delivery went smooth, but I am going to give the smaller one some medicine so it doesn't get too weak," Dr. Mackin said. He injected some fluid in the foal, and everything seemed to go as normal now. Dr. Mackin also checked Missy, who was now standing, and was given a clean bill of health. "Okay, that should do it for now. If you notice anything, don't hesitate to call me." And with that, he left.
Dec 29, 2014 Rating
Looking forward to more by: Sydney from HorseCrazyGirls.com
